Posted in Gossip, Poetry

Truth

Posted on by Noel Ihebuzor

by 

 
Noel Ihebuzor
Truth looks on

darts in her eyes

impressed by our eloquence
bemused by our biases
irked by our piteous arguments
puny, puerile
rankled raw by our ragged rationalisations
still she remains silent
silent but sad as again
she recalls the deafness
of a world people by vain mortals
sorrowful, yet hopeful,
she surveys our clumsy
sheep led by gain gaits
our eyes fixed on stash
vision lulled and dulled
by the lure of lucre
as all logic is locked away
facts blended by simple reason
is now branded as sinful treason
Posted in Uncategorized

Ikhide loves Pablo Neruda

Posted on by Noel Ihebuzor

Ikhide at his irrepressible best!

Ikhide R. Ikheloa's avatarPa Ikhide

Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart is the most romantic novel ever in the history of mankind. Tears run down my cheeks whenever I remember the only love scene in the book. It lasted exactly 30 seconds from when Okonkwo swept his bride onto his arms to the glorious end when he growled, “Oya go cook peppersoup or I will use your skull to drink palmwine!” Achebe’s famous words are engraved in the canon of great literature: “Even in those days, Okonkwo was a man of few words.”

That was before the white man came with his wahala, declaring African men savages because they don’t coo “I love you!” to their wives. In Chukwuemeka Ike’s The Potter’s Wheel the character Obu declares his love for Margaret by giving her six plump sautéed delicacies he had caught under a lamp post. They were thoughtfully wrapped in the sports section of the Daily…

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Posted in Prose

Ramblings and Jottings on Corruption

Posted on by Noel Ihebuzor

by

Noel Ihebuzor

I scribbled these ramblings and jottings on corruption way back in 2012 and published them on my other blog. A reading and review of these jottings now acquire an enhanced relevance given that the incoming Buhari administration was part marketed to the Nigerian electorate using the fight against corruption as a sound byte. Administrations can only combat what they understand – and understanding presupposes sound problem conceptualization and adequate causality analysis. The hope is that a reading of these ramblings and jottings will prompt such. It is also hoped that they will set the nation on a course of action to correctly and sustainably tackle corruption, a course of action that would involve a blend of preventive, punitive and corrective measures. Populist approaches (high drama, handcuffs and histrionics) to tackling corruption are very attractive and the photo and media pecks they bring are numerous but such approaches are hardly ever sustainable. Sustainable approaches involve the judicious blend of environmental control, internal controls, incentives, deterrence, sanctions, positive deviance and behaviour change. We hope that policy makers and corruption fighters will read these ramblings and jottings, reflect on them and apply the useful ones in their fight against corruption. Goodluck!

PS/ In a related reading on this blog, I discuss the need for fast but fair prosecution of corruption cases. In a number of situations, the failure of the judiciary to achieve this is a major inhibitor to the effective fight against corruption.

Posted in Poetry

D is for Drown and more – an instantaneous duet

Posted on by Noel Ihebuzor

By

Toyosi Arigbabuwo and Noel Ihebuzor

NI

Crown, drown, clown…..”

TA

for which town?

Abeg, chill naa, no vex

NI

I no vex, I no frown!

Dem jus fall my hand down!

TA

Me dey here wan wear LASTMA gown

I no know say you dey only play with noun

My fine white skin, don nearly turn to brown!

NI

na so so frown frown

when town vex come meet crown

sake of say ogogoro wey him down

wey make dem talk of drown

TA

E come be like this town

When dem goon

Say no be madness make the crown

Wan drown pipu for inside Lagoon

NI

Chei, Baba God him dey frown

Him no go gree sey make clean pipu drown

na float wey eagle feather dey float for water,

leg wey waka come go waka go,

nothing do am, nothing fit do am.

TA/NI 

Iseeeee! Aseeee!

**** Toyosi and I wrote this instantaneous duet as an expression of our strong disapproval of royal meddling in inter-ethnic amity! Readers in Nigeria will be familiar with the context.TA is Toyosi’s voice, NI is mine.

Posted in Uncategorized

For “Allah Dey” Odunewu: Ikhide, Meet Chekhov

Posted on by Noel Ihebuzor

Beautifully done, and with the right level of irreverence. An important commentary on and contribution to african aesthetics!

Ikhide R. Ikheloa's avatarPa Ikhide

I once wrote some nonsense on Facebook right after my second glass of cognac, the sort that comes easily to me after ogogoro has started making me see tomorrow. It went something like this: “America. Night. The trees lean on the road, limbs gnarled with need, pawing weary cars, leaves whispering, ‘Oga sah! Anything for the boys?’” An impressed white writer who happened to be at home drinking also, asked me: “There is something Chekhovian in your use of language. Do you write short stories and, if so, was Chekhov an influence?”

I had heard of Chekhov, a great white writer who wrote many great things. All African writers are on first name basis with him including those who have never read Chinua Achebe. Over the years I have acquired Chekhov’s books hoping to bone up on them in case I get that all important call from The New…

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Posted in Uncategorized

A Must-Read: My 100 Days Covenant With Nigerians: Fish Starts To Rot From The Head – Buhari

Posted on by Noel Ihebuzor

Hope these pre-election promises are still valid and indeed that they were authored by Buhari!

News Bytes's avatarNews Bytes

Buhari

Corruption and Governance

I pledge to:

  • Publicly declaration of my assets and liabilities
  • Encourage all my appointees to publicly declare their assets and liabilities as a pre-condition for appointment. All political appointees will only earn the salaries and allowances determined by the Revenue Mobilization and Fiscal Allocation Commission (RMFAC).
  • Personal leadership in the war against corruption
  • Inaugurate the National Council on Procurement as stipulated in the Procurement Act. The Federal Executive Council, which has been turned to a weekly session of contract bazaar, will concentrate on its principal function of policy making.
  • Review and implement audit recommendations by Nigeria Extractive Industries Transparency Initiative including those on remittances and remediation.
  • Work with the National Assembly towards the immediate enactment of a Whistle Blower Act
  • Work with the National Assembly to strengthen ICPC and EFCC by guaranteeing institutional autonomy including financial and prosecutorial independence and security of tenure of officials. Make…

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Posted in Uncategorized

Flights of fancy and flights from reality – A million other things that damaged President Jonathan

Posted on by Noel Ihebuzor

By

Noel Ihebuzor

GEJ, a great president. a humble man, a silent achiever

This link line takes you to an article in TheCable that claims to examine “a million other things that damaged President Jonathan” in his re-election bid. It is wriiten by one Chidi Chima and was uploaded on Twitter via @thecableng #2015Elections .  Chidi invites his readers to also come up with and contribute their views on what they think “damaged President Jonathan”.

Chidi Chima skipped Region & Religion! The reader is invited to visit INEC’s results compilation for the 2015 presidential elections and to look closely at the votings in NE, NW & SS zones. Skewed Demography, Religion & Region were at play and were the real “damagers”. This is the harsh truth and we need to tell ourselves some of these hard truths, but Chima prefers to flee from them. If, for example, the SE zone had come out and voted and given Jonathan 750,000 votes each and kept Buhari below 10% of votes cast, as was the case in most of the NE/NW zones, the results would have been otherwise. So, the game changer and decider in these elections were once again Ethnicity and Religion, not any of these fancy reasons that Chidi Chima throws up! Finally, Chidi Chima will do well to study the results for the presidential elections for the FCT and Lagos where populations and religions are more heterogeneous – the results here could be taken to reflect a more balanced representation as to how a cross section of Nigerians inhabiting a common geographical space evaluated the Jonathan presidency.
Posted in Uncategorized

Buhari: a 20th century dictator cannot lead a 21st century economy

Posted on by Noel Ihebuzor

…And that’s why we have views by him such as these samplers:

1) ‘if elected president, I will make the (exchange rate of the) Naira equal to the Dollar’. How unrealistic, to put it mildly. You see, O ‘level economics, including the venerable OA Lawal’s would have sufficed. But you can’t give what you don’t have.(All pun intended). Even the 2nd (China) & 3rd (Japan) largest economies can’t pursue such voodoo wishes. And for a country striving to diversify its economy away from oil, the Buharinomics’ (encapsulated in the above pledge) can only send the economy back to the 20th century.

2) ‘I will stabilise the price of oil if elected president’. Hmm! Nigeria (nay OPEC) stabilise the price of oil? You see, even a cursory (o’level) understanding of oil market and politics would have saved this embarrassing pledge. Saudi Arabia (largest exporter & 3rd largest producer can’t even make such claims – in the light of obvious market & political forces). But this is Nigeria – where those who don’t understand were undemocratically foisted on the nation as minister of petroleum resources and subsequently, Head of State in the 20th century. But this the 2nd decade of the 21st century and Nigerians should know better.

3.’I will fight corruption by drawing a line, such that cases in court would continue, and from then on, no more corruption or you are dealt with’. So what happens to cases not yet found, not yet in the court before the line is drawn? No, according to this ‘magic-wand-line’ strategy, such perpetrators would go scotch free with their loot. Does this strategy tell us something. Yes. In the last several weeks, we have been assaulted by the alleged corruption in Lagos State. And according to the ‘drawing a line’ thesis these would not be investigated, not to talk of recovery and sanction.

There are legion of such statements in the APC campaign, and one wonders: can Nigeria survive with such 20th century solutions for 21st century challenges? No. It would be amount to prescribing death for survival.

Cheers as you read,
Reg Ihebuzor
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN