finally, past pretending
I force my eyes
from the fixed point on the wall
I was memorizing
instead of listening

and look at you;
my eyes starting at the point
I suppose
your heart leaps
beneath skin and sternum
though I no longer
wish to rest my head there
lulled by that drum
while I sleep

drawing that line of sight up
to meet your eyes
dazzling in their fury
of brown backlit by fire

yes, there is someone else,
I say

the me I forgot
a long time ago
and further lost in you

that’s who I love

and why I am leaving 

you shake your head
and ask me to speak clearly,
having missed
my targeted gaze

so much easier for you to understand
if I had just
made up a man

to leave you for