Posted in Poetry

Short lived gifts

 by Noel Ihebuzor

Confess it and it is yours

and like Thomas, he doubted.

but time, loneliness and hunger conspired

and so with breath heavy and hesitant

He did and it was,

and he remembered your promise

anything you ask in my name, I shall give

 

He held on to your gift

with strong and firm fists

his heart was a rainbow,

his person a song as the days

flew bye, and the stars sang and every rustling leaf

sang to the chorus of his singing soul

 

Then the gift slipped through his grasp

Silver through his clenched fists

And his heart leaked

His soul drained, parched

his groan from deep down tore the

Soft curtain of the silence of the night

 

Should he shout his despair

on the crest of the ZUBA?

Should he mirror the broken spirit

of the savage whose sadness permanently

encrusted on ZUBA Hill incites

the sorrowful and the gay to pity?

 

And he seeks  to soothe his pains with lavish

Portions of potions and balms of forgetting but

remembering becomes more acute the more he gulps and rubs of these

 

Should he now shout himself hoarse

in rages of hurt and despair?

 

and in between heaves and deep sobs

he longs for  an anaesthesia for this tortured mind

a potion to change this jelly soul to stone

that can feel nothing, and therefore not hurt again

Every night now,  he wrestles  to release his frame

and his soul from the grips of  his overpowering  sorrow

 mornings in well -rehearsed smiles  he repeats 

in a hollow and breaking voice

“Thy will be done”

And he breaks as he struggles to manage his pain

 

Posted in Poetry

A song for onye obi omam

 by Noel Ihebuzor

Do you know you touched me when you did not mean to

Did you know you saved me when you were not looking

And because you were not looking

you failed to feel my heart leap at that moment of rescue

missed to see my soul drip with honey, my body come alive

and soft warm flows gently fill me my being

 

Do you know how deeply you touch me with your warm voice,

and how with the slight touch of your hands you speak to my despair

how and so often with your soft touch you stop my hard fall?

Do you know how much you soothe my soul

with your warm voice and the reassuring beams of your smiles?

 

Can I sing what you do ……

When you hear my silent sobs even when you seem not to be listening,

When you feel my unspoken words and decode their deep syntax

When you read my silent lips from across the distances

When with a single glance you read my pain and

with a soft touch share my grief

 

How warm your kind gestures must boom to the deaf woman

When with your soothing and tender touch you speak your care

And stroke her famished spirit and stimulate the eardrums of her soul

And rescue her from the loneliness of silence

 

How colourful and full of bloom your touch must shine to the blind dancer

as she surveys your kind face in the flow of your hands,

when the love in your soul that your touch speaks

fills her mind’s eye with pictures of beauty and bliss

and rescues her from the agonies of the dark,

 

How warm and welcoming your keen eyes must sing to the deaf mute

When they follow and read his every voice and their modulations

and share in the labours of his limping speech

your compassion lends and restores dignity

warm as cover cloth in the harmattan night

 

feel his sweet thank you song

in the moisture that crowds his grateful eyes

in his subdued shy smile which celebrates your attention

 

How you deeply you touch me when you speak my words,

when you speak soft words

and when you lend me your voice and speak for me

and speak for those without voice,

when you listen with care, when you care to listen,

 

 

Do you know how deeply you touch me

when you speak words that only the eyes of the heart can see

the eyes of the heart sees deep and clear

the ears of the heart hear even the softest footfalls of footless spirits….

 

 

Soft words touch hard

Gentle kindness holds fast and bond

Unreflecting and unselfish gestures strike deep

Human warmth oozes solidly

And multiplies, even when we know not

and even when we are not looking

and even when we mean not

 

look over there and see a bridge of rainbows

listen and hear the strains of soothing music

and see the angels dance and sway

 

all because with a gesture, with a thought, with a word

without talking, without thinking

you touch me, you touch others

and you link and connect

and love flows…and grows…and soars

and multiplies …and liberates the soul, the body and the mind

and the echoes of your silent actions sing loud and smell sweet,

rising higher to the clouds

 

did you know you touch me when you did not mean to?

 

Noel Ihebuzor This is a song of gratitude for all those who rescue others from despair, depression, sorrow and gloom by generous acts of acts of love…..often without knowing it.

 

@naitwt

Posted in Poetry

A song for Ndawi – Judge me well

A song for Ndawi – 1 – Judge me well

by Noel Ihebuzor  

for Ndawi, who sleeps silently and softly in the shadows of His Love. so many years have flown since I wrote this song….

Judge me well

As you see me through this great glass divide
frosted by tears, through this dim glass of infinity
that now divides us

As you now survey me from up above
Be not too hard, nor too harsh
judge me well

Remember me on the day of your resurrection
On the day when all still bodies shall rise,
their soft sleep ruptured by the genteel warmth
of rapture, the glass dissolves to reveal and reunite and
You and I meet
You in your beauty and me different, frayed, strained

For I strain under the weight of a cross
the cross of your flight
your flight from family to infinity
I stagger, I struggle
I sway and retreat
to the limits that you have crossed
like an orphan out of time and place
waiting for the boatman
but with no coins in my pocket,
and even unwilling to board the boat
because of the obligations to your fruits and love

Remember me well
on the day the curtain shall split
and the separation line broken
and the still quicken,
on the day that the veil of separation
shall split and be flung aside
to reveal all in light so bright

Remember then that I never sold our dreams
not even for seventy in seventy tons of gold

Remember me on this moment
of your liberation and our reunion and nod….
I shall delight at that instance
in the light of your approving gaze that would
reveal your soul’s joy and delight
in the care I have shown to the four
fruits of our caring and sharing
Four full seasons and and a month
have filtered by, whittling and
frittering away at the edges of my soul
but your fruits are fresh, full, firm and free
tendered by the same love and care
as always

Remember me well
for it is only in this garden of your labors
and the Eden of reminiscences
that I now cherish you

Remember me well
I grope around in unfamiliar groves, hills and valleys
But not in betrayal
I venture out not to forget
but to remember
I am in search of balance and equilibrium,
I am in flight from an anguish I feel since
your unscheduled flight on a one way ticket…..

Remember me well on your day
I have clutched to memories to support me,
I struggle to keep my memories fresh and free
for the moment of my own flight
All I now do is to be able to travel fully, healed
so that on the day of reunion
you may recognise me

Then as we rush in embrace,
at the blast of the last trumpet,
clothed in linen bright
remember not to judge me
rather remember to look over
and beyond and thank
and not judge all those who may have hurt me
and shower thanks and smiles
especially on those who have
helped me, helped heal me, helped me carry on
since you left.

Posted in Poetry

A song for Ndawi – visions

by Noel Ihebuzor  

A song I wrote some twenty two years ago

Visions

Your charm suggests the smell of fresh hibiscus
of the red rose, the taste of the ripe udala fruit
You hum softly in my ear
Your beauty drones in my head
Your absence makes you present
Your presence makes me absent-minded

I see nothing else
hear nothing else
feel nothing else
wish nothing else

How long will this be ?
How long will visions of you haunt me ?

How long will I carry the
cross of your presence,
now so strong in your absence
so pleasant to remember
and so painfully sweet to carry
How long?

Posted in Poetry

A song for the uncertain

Noel Ihebuzor 

In search of certainty

do you feel me when you feel me
the way I feel you
like gentle rains on the dry thirsty earth
that sizzles with joy at each drop
and liberates a humming scent
which explodes, expands and then swirls around
everywhere and all over
humming softly like a delicate bouquet of flowers

I feel, I float and fly
when you feel me
you fill my person, body, bones and being
everything, everywhere and all over
when you feel me
and my eyes search your eyes for answers
your bright darting reveal nothing, speak nothing
to quench my thirst to know

whether you feel me like I feel you
when you feel me
Do you fool me or
do I fool myself
like the fisherman casting his nets to catch a full moon
as it floats on the indifferent surface of a lake
like the optimist hurrying back from the village stream
a raffia palm basket filled with water balanced on a wet head

tell me – do you fool me as you feel me
or do I fill a time bound need?

Posted in Poetry

A song for short cuts and wrong choices

by Noel Ihebuzor  Sunday, 19 September 2010 at 00:40 

Lost in our greed and lust

we took the short cut and the road was longer

in our rush, in our grabbing rush, in our haste

we grabbed and broke the needle of the compass

and now turn round in endless circles and squares,

moving but getting nowhere and lost

and we missed the matter and still do.

 

Where the matter lies is where the truth lies,

the truth of a people lost in time, with lots of lust but lost in values

The root of the problem was the problem of roots

suspended roots, shifting roots,

dangling and swinging in the wind,

floating and drifting along in

and with the stream of convenience, like

an anchorless dream, like a malaria-ed dream

 

At the breaking of the road

we had a choice to turn to the truth,

to return to it and to begin again

to dig to where the matter lies or to lie

we chose to let the matter lie, to lullaby the truth to sleep

to finally lie finally,

hoping to suffocate the truth in the rich folds of our plunder

with the huge pillow cases of our loot

we urged the truth to die

and thus stilled and dulled the voices within us

we bent our tongues

and bartered our already battered and sad souls.

Posted in Poetry

The road we walk

by Noel Ihebuzor

It appeared shorter, smoother and surer,

Easier, beckoning, enticing

but once our seduced feet

Set off on it

The road became long and longer

and our enlarging lust glued our feet to it

and we got stuck and sucked in

 

The ephemeral glitter, the vanishing flashing lights

left us lost, clutching our harvest of cheap gains

and dense chaff

eternal virtues abandoned

redeeming values jettisoned

 

Our lust locked us in, stills locks us in

and still locks us out

of our possibilities 

and we walk and trudge along in loose losing circles,

muscles aching, limbs limp, souls sore

minds racked and feverish

our days now empty, our nights long and limp

 

A constant rush of rash

dull but disturbing lights invade our nights

stagger into our sweat filled dreams

these dreams filled with uneven riots and battles

In which demons and angels contend

For our souls and our wayward soles

mornings are stale and dark like the days

 

We trudge on

in ever widening circles and sterile cycles

in our fatigued state, we clump and stomp,

our alluring Journey’s end

now hazy, dim and receding…..

 

Outcomes from our feverish indecent haste of the past

now visit our present,

ghosts from our past,

they clamp our limbs like dead lead

And us, miserable us,

still blind, obdurate as if cursed

very reluctant to return

to the basics

to start anew

rather preferring to sift

the blowing and bellowing winds

for a harvest of  fresh fish