I jogged along, hearing but not heeding tiring feet,
tuned into and turned on by my untiring mind
On the horizon
Where as far as the eye could see,
the awakening sky draped itself in colors
lent to it by the awakening sun
dipped into the wrinkled rippling ocean
The young rising sun painted masterpieces
on the canvas of a willing and wide sky
Here and there, it oozed through the sky
there it streaked through it,
cut through it
like a golden laser,
a dazzling jeddai sword
and over there it streamed
through huge holes
pouring gold-like rays like they were flowing
through a colored sky into the ocean
that rippled, danced and welcomed it,
regaling in the generous hues of rippling silver on gold
with which it was adorned,
The blend of rippling silver with a golden touch
beautiful to behold,
inspiring awe and wonder
And the slow moving ships
in different sizes and shapes
in measured paces and distances hung around
the harbor gates
patiently waiting their turn to be called into the harbor
And I wondered what lesson in life their patience taught us
to learn to wait our turn
For the ships are called into harbor
According to when they arrived, first arrive, first enter
and so each has learnt to wait
to sail into the harbor in the order in which they arrived
as I mused over this
my mind strayed to another journey
when people are called into the final harbor of life
and I wondered why this call
did not follow a logic as neat as this
where you go into the harbor
in the order in which you arrived
and then I thought I heard a voice
break into my thoughts
speaking with soft compassion
“my son, my aging son,
why do you seek answers to questions
beyond the confines of your mind
your restless mind strays
from the path of acceptance
away from the assured safety of trust in me
and the logic of faith.
must my logic and the harbor master’s be the same?
is the gardener not free to walk his garden at will
and to pick the flowers he planted as he wills,
randomly and by his own wisdom and logic
which are above yours
as the heavens are above the earth ?
can the prettiest and brightest of flowers
with its petals dazzling the earth and sky
challenge the logic of the gardener”?
How I miss these flowers!
How their beauty and feel haunt me!
How I miss them
I must have said it
Did I say it?
His question meant that I must have
For I heard the same soft voice say
“Or would you want to see these flowers, to feel them
For to do so, I must call you too into the harbor”
And at this,
I thought I saw the faces of those
whose voices I no longer heard
Whose voices I longed to hear
And whose smiles I longed to touch mine
Faces that I miss so painfully
shake their heads in unison
as if to say
“Say no”
And I saw their faces against the silvery skies,
familiar and loved faces bathed in soft glows of silver halos
Of those who sleep well….
As dear now even departed as in life
All who I once held and whose memories I still hold
All signalling by vigorous sideways shakes
Of the halo surrounded frames
“say no, stay on
Emeruo emeruo ka nma” ,
their silent lips all said, all sang
And I found my own voice
Heard myself saying
to the silent approving murmur
of the rustling speaking ocean
“Call me into the harbor
After I have run at least the three score and ten you promised all,
not before
For then my debts would have been paid
And I can sail into the harbor strong, free, strong, slow and steady
Mind free, soul full and spirit willing,
But your will, supreme gardener, supreme harbormaster, not mine”
I jogged on, the ships sailed on
In their order and logic,
The ocean rippled,
The waves raced to the beach
The rising sun now bolder
trying as if to drown the ocean with the intensity
Of its warmth and embrace
And I jogged on, in the embrace of life
embracing the living and
still remembering the departed.
Reflections 